January 13, 2015

40 days ~ weakened in week three

(40 days is a series of posts that began on November 4th. If you are interested in reading them in order, scroll down - otherwise read on and check out all my other musings...)

Sidenote to my loyal fans (all four of you :) ~  I finished my 40 days more than a month ago, but took copious notes and wrote draft posts while moving along the journey. Sorry I haven't posted - but here you go ~ if you are interested...frequent posts this week as they are written.

What I'm learning in this third week of my 40 day journey from fear to faith is a simple, yet for me, a difficult concept to grasp: change takes a while. Change takes time, patience (not a virtue I hold,) and a lot of good old compassion with one's self. HA. What a lesson. Not only am I trying to shift my consciousness, but I'm having to actually be patient and compassionate with myself? What. The. Hell?  Clearly, all three are connected. Who knew? I did, sort of.

When you live your life with anxiety, there has to be some sort of negative self talk alive and well inside you. I have always been self deprecating as a way to joke and make light. What I didn't realize was habitual negative talk can take root and latch on to you, causing you to pull further and further away from your true self. The longer you rip on yourself, joking or not, the more your consciousness believes its true.